being presbyterian

What does it mean to be presbyterian? I'm not talking about the doctrine. I'm talking about the culture. Being Presbyterian means drinking beer, and being proud of it. It means naming your children after obscure Old Testament characters or reformed theologians. It means singing songs that are ancient poems and creeds put to "contemporary" bluegrass music, or worse, putting grand hymns to new, weaker bluegrass melodies. It might mean homeschooling your kids. At our church, it certainly means listening to deep, poetic, theologically rich sermons that leave you going, "Wow, I sure am depraved and God's grace sure is good" but that don't necessarily leave you going, "I need to change {whatever} in my life."

I guess I'm still not convinced that I'm cut out to be Presbyterian. I think Anglican was a closer fit, for me. Last Sunday, still longing for more after church was over, I went to Mars Hill's evening service. Mars Hill isn't right for me either; a church that is playing Devotchka when you walk in seems aimed to make seekers feel comfortable, rather than to make sinners enter into awe-ful worship. And the music there, mostly hymns rocked out, is cool, but a little too performancey. Mark Driscoll's sermons, however, leave little to be desired. They are long, funny, engaging, and convicting. Try this one, on worship and idols, if you don't believe me. Or try it even if you do believe me. Just try it.

Then there's the latest EarReverent podcast to consider. "Leaving Protestantism." To be honest, for several years now, I've wanted to live in a place where I could go to a morning or noon Mass everyday. Not because I want to be Catholic, but because I need help worshiping God everyday. I need corporate liturgy, a place of reverence. I need doctrine, but I also need experience. I don't need a club or a subculture. I need church to be a place of inspiration, I need music and liturgy that lift my soul and ground my life, I need teaching that gets to the truth and also cuts to the quick. I need community that is natural, open, honest, connected (but right now I'm getting that at the house).

I'm just not feeling it.
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I've been meaning to get to this for a while now. The messages from this year's New Attitude conference are available for free download! Piper, Mahaney, Harris, et al. Check it out.