Do you trust your feelings?
I usually don't. The voice in my head says things like
Feelings change, but the word of God endures and
Guard your heart (which I always took to mean reveal nothing and let no one in) and
How you feel about it doesn't matter, what matters is what's true and even
Girls are emotional, flighty and fickle - don't be a girl.
I first began to wonder if I should trust my feelings more when I was in college. In a unit on feminism, I read about Women's Ways of Knowing. Could there be legitimate other ways of knowing, I asked myself? As legitimate as Reason, the way of the Enlightenment?
Lately I've been wondering again about the interplay between reason and emotion and Holy Spirit in decision-making. I tend to write off my emotions as just hormonal, but Jack never lets me get away with that. So how do I listen to them?
This week my feeling about one of our big decisions underwent a 180 degree change overnight, for no clear reason, and I'm wondering why. I'm wondering if I need to trust my feelings, and how to do that. I'm wondering if I need to talk back to the voice in my head:
Yes, feelings change, but the word of God can speak truth to us in our changing feelings. You don't need to be afraid of expressing feelings because they might someday change.
Yes, guard your heart, by not embracing filth, by not betraying your own soul, but by embracing all the good people God has put in your life.
Yes, truth matters, but how you feel is a truth, and it matters too.
And who are you to define femininity, and to define it so negatively?
Lately I've been thinking that my refusal to trust my feelings is also a refusal to listen to God. That maybe God speaks to us through feelings, too, and that maybe there is no such thing as pure reason. That maybe one reason I've been so afraid of feelings is that the churches I've gone to have been so male-dominated.
Do you trust your emotions? What do you think? (Or maybe I should say how do you feel?)
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5 comments:
Fantastic, insightful piece of writing Amy. Exactly what I'm thinking about right now. Thinking so hard my brain just pinged!
If either reason or feelings don't feel adequate, ask God for clarification. And, don't forget to be open to receiving insight and inspiration through the Spirit. Be still, and open - and then trust what comes.
I read the "nightmare of the small cafe" - it would have shaken my feelings about such an enterprise, but I have a wonderful counter story of success, which I will try to send you.
Fear not; those who fear failure, fail by not pursuing what calls to them. Remember that the God of creation creates good things with and for us. I have strong trust that what works out in your current real estate pursuit will be for the goodness of you, your family, and your community.
I have always had a tendency toward anxiety just before a situation is ripe. I guess it is the closeness to the plan becoming reality that sets off my doubts. Like Thomas, I want proof that "it will work", when the dream becomes a plan, or project.
I have a professor who always says feelings are like symptoms. A random ache could be nothing or it could it be an indicator of something that needs immediate attention- something your life depends on. Feelings are the same way- sometimes fleeting, sometimes drastically important, always worth exploring.
So, there are some thoughts from a pretend counselor :)
Love you!
I tend not to trust my feelings, but to listen to them way too much. I'm not sure how it's possible to do both at the same time, but somehow I manage it!
All that to say, I'm looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts (and feelings) on this topic.
I think God does speak to us through our feelings, I am sure of it. And yet I have become so used to hearing that I shouldn't trust them, that I think I am very out of practise at understanding them, deciphering them, interpreting them. They can feel like a foreign language some days but it's one I'd like to learn.
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