I have been reading this book for a long time. I can't remember for sure, but I may have started it in January, because I know that I only have it because I picked it up in my parents' house in Little Rock.
I don't know why it took me so long to read. It wasn't that I didn't like it. Maybe it was because it doesn't give a lot of direct application to parenting babies or toddlers, and so I never felt compelled to continue with it out of my immediate need in the moment.
That said, this was one of the best parenting books I've read. I hardly found a thing in it with which to disagree (and as a contentious person, I can rarely say that!). (On the other hand, I did have a major problem in the concluding chapter, when he wrote, "Grace is an amazing adjective.." --- grace isn't an adjective, sir!) (Grammar and vocabulary dork here.) (Hate myself sometimes.)
To my memory, I've read seven parenting books (not including books about vaccines, sleep, baby diet, etc):
Shepherding a Child's Heart - Tedd Tripp
Parenting with Love and Logic - Cline and Fay
Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood - Fay and Fay
Parenting is Your Highest Calling (and 8 other myths) - Leslie Leyland Fields
Don't Make Me Count to Three - Ginger Plowman
Gospel-Powered Parenting - William Farley
Grace-Based Parenting - Tim Kimmel
Of these books, I absolutely recommend Grace-Based Parenting for principles, and Love and Logic for practice. And while I think I'm done with parenting books for a while, I'd still love to hear any other recommendations if my readers have them :-)
The foundational idea behind Kimmel's book is that every child's three driving inner needs are for security, significance, and strength, and that parents meet these needs by giving their children love, purpose, and hope. In delivering grace to our kids, we need to give them the freedom to be different, to be vulnerable, to be candid, and to make mistakes. Kimmel fleshes these principles out beautifully with personal examples and biblical support.
I think what was most convicting for me in the book was the idea that a graceful relationship with God is contagious. Do I know that I'm loved? Do I recognize my purpose? Do I live in hope and free from fear? It will be harder for my kids to believe in grace if I don't believe in it myself. And my deep drive to be "good enough" makes it hard for me to live in grace!
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1 comment:
Jacob and I went to his conference when I was pregnant with Emma. The conference was great and we bought a collection of his books. AND they've sat on the shelf ever since. I've picked it up several time to read it, but I think I had a hard time getting very far since, like you said, it's not full of practical application. Glad to hear it's worth finishing!! I'll have to give it another go, especially now that Em is a little older.
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