mommyhood

How is mommyhood? she asks.

Rosemary, and motherhood, turned one month old yesterday. In the last four weeks, these are some things I’ve observed:

I say things all the time now that I’ve never said in my life. Words like “booger,” phrases like “she’s working on a dirty diaper”.

I have overcome my fears of cutting baby nails and putting saline drops in a baby nose.

I am much more able to survive on little sleep than ever before in my life. A year ago, if I only got five hours of sleep, I would be dead for the next day or two. Now, it happens all the time, and I keep running, even without naps.

But, in the middle of the night, I sometimes fall asleep while breastfeeding.

My mom is a genius.

I know plenty of women who love the experience of being pregnant. I know plenty of women who love the experience of breastfeeding. I would not say that I fit into either category.

Similarly, I didn’t feel that powerful rush of love that a lot of women feel when they see their children for the first time. I was too exhausted to feel any powerful emotions except relief.

If love is quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch: my baby is super-loved.

Girls are not sugar and spice and all things nice! (This I already knew, being a girl myself -- but it’s not even true of BABY girls.) I never knew a baby girl could be so squirmy and grunty and growly.

Even thought I devote nearly 24 hours a day to my girl, I still haven’t figured out how to get her on a good schedule for sleeping.

But, she does sleep for five hour stretches at night, which is wonderful.

I still have a hard time believing that her name is Rosemary. It’s hard to believe that we made her, but it’s just as hard to believe that we had the power of naming a person.

I call her “baby girl” just as often as I call her by her name.

Most people say she looks like me. I think she looks like my dad.

Cloth diapers are great! BumGenius 3.0 are the best, but I also like using regular old Indian cotton diapers with the Bummis Super Whisper Wrap cover. They’re super cute, cheap, and less leaky (in my experience so far) than disposables.

Rosemary loves going for a walk in her baby carrier ( a Sleepy Wrap). She hates being in her car seat.

Going for a walk in nice weather is one of my favorite activities now.

For the first four weeks, I was very content to be healing, at home, and learning how to take care of a baby. Now, I’m starting to feel a little trapped in the house, and a little bored. Maybe I’m even starting to miss teaching.

However, I am excited about finding new ways to use my time.

Jack is very patient with a fussy baby (no big surprise, as he’s patient with me when I’m a fussy baby).

Jack and I would do just about anything to make Rosie smile. She can’t respond to us yet, though, so the smiles we get come spontaneously, as she’s drifting into or out of sleep. That doesn’t stop us from doing all we can to elicit them.

I can’t wait until this girl can respond to me.

We insert Rosie’s name into all songs we sing now. Mostly, we sing her Denison Witmer’s “Catholic Girl,” even though she’s not, at least not in the capital C sense.

She really does seem to be calm when listening to: lullaby renditions of Radiohead or George Strait, “Seven Swans,” “Now the Day is Over,” or Rosie Thomas.

Mommyhood is pretty good.